Monday, February 11, 2019

PART II - BOOK - "GULLIVER'S TRAVELS" by Jonathan Swift - HIS DISCOURSE ON LAW AND LAWYERS



In case you didn't read my PREVIOUS BLOG POST - "PART I" - I'll begin with an almost exact lead-in to this DISCOURSE.......

In an effort to expand my thinking and gain new knowledge, I joined a CLASSICS BOOK CLUB, which chose this book for discussion this month. I am VERY impressed by how creative the author, JONATHAN SWIFT was. 

His main character, GULLIVER can't stay still, so he chooses to leave home and set sail for years at a time. He lands in several different locations, where he is exposed to a variety of "INTELLIGENT CREATURES".  

GULLIVER describes WARLAW, and LAWYERS, to a HOUYHNHNM,  an inhabitant of a far-off island, whose community is so KIND and POSITIVE that it doesn't even have a word in their language for LYING or FALSEHOOD. How could they understand WARLAW, and LAWYERS?

In my previous BLOG POST, I shared directly from the book how GULLIVER described WAR. In THIS POST I'm sharing how he described LAW and LAWYERS.

Keep in mind that GULLIVER'S TRAVELS was first published in 1726. That's a LONG time ago and you would think a lot has changed since then. But, APPARENTLY NOT.

Be sure to note where the author CAPITALIZES or ITALICIZES a word for EMPHASIS. I found this enriched my reading experience.

As you begin to read below, it will CHALLENGE you, because the 1726 language is quite tedious...... but STICK WITH IT and let me know your reaction(s) to what was written.


"I assured his Honour, that Law was a Science wherein I had not much conversed, further than by employing Advocates in vain, upon some Injustices that had been done me. However, I would give him all the Satisfaction I was able.

I said, there was a Society of Men among us, bread up from their Youth in the Art of proving by Words multiplied for the Purpose that White is Black and Black is White, according as they are paid. To this Society all the rest of the People are Slaves. For Example, if my Neighbour hath a mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer to prove, that he ought to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my Right, it being against all Rules of Law that any Man should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this Case, I who am the true Owner lie under two great Disadvantages. First, my Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood, is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which is an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness, if not with ill Will. The second Disadvantage is, that my Lawyer must proceed with great Caution, or else he will be reprimanded by the Judges, and abhorred by his Brethren, as one that would lessen the Practice of the Law. And therefore I have but two Methods to preserve my Cow. The first is to gain over my Adversary's Lawyer with a double Fee, who will then betray his Client by insinuating that he hath Justice on his side. The second way is for my Lawyer to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can, by allowing the Cow to belong to my Adversary; and this, if it be skillfully done, will certainly bespeak the Favor of the Bench. Now, your Honour is to know that these Judges are Persons appointed to decide all Controversies of Property, as well as for the Trial of Criminals, and picked out from the most dexterous Lawyers, who are grown old or lazy, and having been biased all their Lives against Truth and Equity lie under such a fatal Necessity of favoring Fraud, Perjury, and Oppression, that I have known several of them refuse a large Bribe from the side where Justice lay, rather than injure the Faculty by doing anything unbecoming their Nature or their office.

It is a Maxim among these Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: And therefore they take special Care to record all the Decisions formerly made against common Justice, and the general Reason of Mankind. These under the Name of Precedents they produce as Authorities to justify the most iniquitous Opinions; and the Judges never fail of decreeing accordingly

In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the Merits of the Cause; but are loud, violent and tedious in dwelling upon all Circumstances which are not to the Purpose. For Instance, in the Case already mentioned; They never desire to know what Claim or Title my Adversary hath to my Cow, but whether the said Cow were Red or Black, her Horns long or short; whether the Field I graze her in be round or square, whether she was milked at home or abroad, what Diseases she is subject to, and the like; after which they consult Precedents, adjourn the Cause, from Time to Time, and in Ten, Twenty or Thirty Years come to an Issue.

It is likewise to be observed that this Society hath a particular Cant and Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all their Laws are written, which they take special Care to multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very Essence of Truth and Falsehood, of Right and Wrong; so that it will take Thirty Years to decide whether the Field, left me by my Ancestors for six Generations, belongs to me or to a Stranger three hundred Miles off.

In the Trial of Persons accused for Crimes against the State the Method is much more short and commendable: The Judge first sends to sound the Disposition of those in Power, after which he can easily hang or save the Criminal, strictly preserving all due Forms of Law.

Here my Master interposing, said it was a Pity, that Creatures endowed with such prodigious abilities of Mind as these Lawyers by the Description I gave of them must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be Instructors of others in Wisdom and Knowledge. In answer to which I assured his Honour, that in all Points out of their own Trade they were the most ignorant and stupid Generation among us, the most despicable in common Conversation, avowed Enemies to all Knowledge and Learning, and equally disposed to pervert the general Reason of Mankind in every other subject of Discourse, as in that of their own Profession."


My sincere apologies to any LAWYERS if you find it in poor taste that I shared these paragraphs........ I did find these passages humorous, assuming one is willing to laugh at oneself. In 300 years, many things remain the same.


JOAN



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