In 2004 I left KISTLER-TIFFANY COMPANIES and set up an office in my home to continue counseling owners of family businesses. Almost 4 years ago I officially RETIRED. I kept all of my client files "just in case" I'd need to refer back to something for them. But now it's time to LET IT GO.
So, this past week I took the time to PURGE THE REST of what I hadn't purged about 2 years ago. I actually have only about 1 small file drawer left to go thru, of business odds and ends, but all CLIENT FILES (except my family's) are now GONE. Admittedly it feels weird.
It was an interesting experience to clean out my business files. I reflected on all of the TIME and EFFORT I spent on GUIDING and ADVISING the families I worked with - the charts and diagrams and comparisons and data-collecting......
Discarding all of that gave me a bit of an EMPTY FEELING and I realized I was GRIEVING.
GRIEF doesn't only impact you when you lose a LOVED ONE. Any LOSS can trigger feelings of GRIEF. And GRIEVING any LOSS can take on surprising characteristics and can create thoughts you'd never anticipate.
For instance, I found myself thinking "I had better keep this file just in case....."
In case what? In case I start my career again? In case, in my next lifetime, I need to look at something again? I think not. Totally irrational thoughts. But "LETTING GO" has always been emotionally tough for me. Then I realized it's OK. It's OK to be shocked, to feel sad, to wonder and question.........
I slowly felt myself coming to terms with the fact that my business CAREER is OVER.
But this doesn't have to be a BAD thing, right?
It IS JOLTING to face the fact that one's career is OVER.
Many people STRUGGLE to find SIGNIFICANCE in their life when they leave one CHAPTER and start their next, no matter at what age.
Fortunately, RETIREMENT and I had no trouble getting used to each other. I have found PLENTY of things to occupy my time - READING, participating in 4 BOOK CLUBS, researching interesting topics on the INTERNET, enjoying my friends' cartoons, thought-provoking quotes, and general life experiences on FACEBOOK, writing this BLOG, watching REALITY TV (hee hee), DOCUMENTARIES, and SCIENCE and HISTORY STORIES, going to the MOVIES, PLANNING my next TRIP, TRAVELING, LUNCHING and SOCIALIZING with FRIENDS, taking LOCAL EXCURSIONS for new experiences and GETTING TO KNOW my FAMILY and FRIENDS better.
Oh, and BEING ENTERTAINED by CLOVER!!!
If you are nearing, contemplating or are deep in the middle of RETIREMENT, I hope you too are finding interesting and fun things to do and are taking the necessary steps to ENRICH your SOUL with meaningful moments and POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
CHEERS!
JOAN
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